To both of you…
I can’t believe it. Here you go off to Kindergarten again, Pedro are only left with 2 more years of this precious and self esteem building time and Tomás, this is not babies anymore, so enjoy greatly this 5 gorgeous years of joy. Mostly, I try to stick to wit and/or wisdom when I write, but the wave of sentimentality I am experiencing about this event requires a slightly softer approach in this letter on this day.
The first day of a Kindergarten school year, feels different than all the days I dropped you off before. Kindergarten marks the real beginning of your journey to becoming who you are, independent of me and your dad. It also signifies the end of your time as my baby, while you are at school obviously. I’m not sure I am ready for that yet, but it comes anyway, so be ready or not here we are. So on this day I worry more, I hope more, and I share my dreams for your future, which will continue to arrive faster than I am prepared for every time. Sorry if I´ll not be ready most of the times… it’s the tough part of being a mom…
I worry that you will not like school, your new friends and your old ones, that it will be too hard, or too easy, or too something. I hope that you will try hard, that you will stick to your lessons, and that you will ask for help when you need it. I dream that learning will bring you joy and the pride that comes when you master new things, like learning to read and eventually, I hope, to write your own stories and adventures. Pedro you are already writing in a way and you are so good at it. Tomás you already know the letters in your name and you are not even 2.5 years old yet!
I worry that your teachers won’t understand or appreciate your boisterous energy and that you won’t be able to contain it. I hope that you and your teachers find a way to harness that energy and put it to good use. I dream that we will be able to do better than putting kids in boxes or slapping labels on them because they act a “certain” way. I dream that also because I don´t want anybody to do that with you either, I don´t want you to get hurt, for someone to hurt you or for your personality to retrieve and be scared of the world.
I worry that you will be picked on, or worse, pick on other kids. I hope that we have taught you enough to be resilient to teasing, to be kind to others, and to be brave enough to defend those who need help. I dream of a time when we are all compassionate and caring with the feelings of others and bullying is a thing of the past.
I worry that in school you will absorb the assumptions that certain things are “boy” things and certain things are “girl” things and that will limit your view of the world and yourself. I hope that your dad and I have been and continue to be examples of the fact that there are very few things in this world that are limited by your gender. I dream of a time when gender roles are less restrictive for boys and girls and that you both can like, do, or be anything.
I worry that school will change the open way that you communicate with the world. I hope that you will learn to temper that openness just enough so that you won’t be hurt too often or too deeply. I dream that the world will become a place where we value openness more and it is OK to wear your heart on your sleeve for all to see.
I worry that as you grow, you will grow away from me. I hope that we will learn new ways to talk, to connect, and to share our experiences. I dream that you will grow into adults that you actually like spending time with, and that we will be friends.
But I also know, from the bottom of my heart that all these assumptions are born inside me, from my own experience and in my own history. My demons… So let me give you my vote of confidence and trust that you´ll do the best you can and that will be more than enough and that you´ll be more than happy with that.
Finally, a parental prayer: May you dare to be completely yourself, to learn with enthusiasm, to question things, to fail with grace, to succeed with humility, to be brave, to love learning, to make good friends, to be happy, and to always know that no matter what, I will be there for you on every step of your journey of growing up, even when you won’t hold my hand anymore or want me to drop you off 2 blocks from your friend’s house because you´ll be a grown up.
Best wishes on this day forever with all my love, Mom!